Post-exercise reflections: would you be your own friend?

The Mirror of Self-Acceptance

Once we have completed the exercise of the "I am..." statements and have before us a list that reflects our essence, it is time to take a further step in reflection.

This step is crucial to transform self-knowledge into self-acceptance and self-esteem.

Take a moment to carefully read each of the statements you have written.

Consider this list as the portrait of a person's soul.

The Key Question

Now, ask yourself a simple but deeply revealing question: if you met a person who embodied all of these qualities, who was exactly as your list describes,

would you want to be their friend? Would you be attracted to their company? Would you consider this to be a person of worth, interesting, and worthy of appreciation and respect?

In the overwhelming majority of cases, the instinctive response is an enthusiastic "yes."

We recognize in that description someone with whom we would love to spend time and build a connection.

From Recognition to Self-Treatment

This reflection has a transformative purpose: it forces us to apply to ourselves the same standard of appreciation that we apply to others.

Often, we are our own harshest judges.

We criticize ourselves, belittle ourselves, and treat ourselves with a harshness we would never dare use on a good friend.

The realization that the person described on your list is someone you would admire and want as a friend, and that that person is you, is a moment of profound epiphany.

It confronts you with your own inherent worth.

The Commitment of the Self-Friendship

The ultimate question that follows from this is: if that person is worthy of friendship and respect, why not start by being your own best friend? Why not treat yourself with the same kindness, compassion, and encouragement that you would give to that person? And more so, doesn't that person deserve to live a full, happy life on their own terms? The answer is, unequivocally, yes.

And that person is you.

This exercise, therefore, not only tells you who you are, but it inescapably reminds you that you are valuable, worthy, and deserving of all the good that life has to offer.