The 4 quadrants of behavior in a relationship

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Transcription The 4 quadrants of behavior in a relationship

To understand the dynamics of our interactions, we can use a simple but powerful model based on four quadrants.

This model evaluates our actions based on whether they are good or bad for us and for the other person.

This quadrant contains actions that are good for me, but bad for the other person.

This is the selfish mindset, where I prioritize my needs and interests over those of the other person.

While I may gain a short-term benefit, this behavior erodes trust and goodwill, and in the long run, it damages the relationship.

No one wants to be in a relationship where they constantly feel used or ignored.

This is the sacrifice quadrant.

Here, our actions are good for the other person, but bad for us.

We constantly put the other person's needs above our own, often out of fear of abandonment or a need to be liked.

While it may seem like a generous act, in the long run it leads to resentment, burnout, and a loss of self-identity.

It's not sustainable or healthy.

This is the most toxic quadrant.

Here, our actions are harmful to both us and the other person.

This is the dynamic of poisonous relationships, where negativity, attacks, and mutual resentment dominate the interaction.

Both parties suffer, but are often trapped in a destructive cycle out of fear, dependency, or an inability to imagine a alternative.

the 4 quadrants of behavior in a relationship