Constructive Conflict Management

Prevention and De-escalation

Conflict is inherent in human relationships due to incompatibility of interests or values, but its management defines the health of the team. The wisest strategy is, paradoxically, to avoid unnecessary escalation.

In most heated discussions, no one really wins; even if one "destroys" the other's arguments, if the counterpart feels humiliated, his or her opinion does not change, only resentment is gained.

To prevent a disagreement from turning into a war, habits of restraint must be adopted.

First, accept disagreement as something natural and not as a personal attack; controlling one's temper is vital.

Second, if we have made a mistake, admitting it quickly and emphatically disarms the counterpart and reduces defensive tension immediately.

Third, listen more than you speak; in tense situations, we tend to monopolize the floor to justify ourselves, but letting the other person air their grievances often dissolves the initial hostility.

The Strategic Matrix: Relationship vs. Objective

Not all conflicts should be resolved the same. We can use a decision matrix based on two axes: the importance of the objective and the importance of the relationship.

Collaborate (Win-Win): When both the objective and the relationship are very important, we must invest time in finding creative solutions that satisfy both parties.

Compete: If the objective is critical but the relationship is irrelevant or transitory, a competitive approach is adopted to maximize one's own outcome.

Cede/Concile: If the relationship is vital but the objective is secondary, compromise to preserve the long-term bond.

Avoid: If neither the objective nor the relationship is worthwhile, it is best to withdraw and not invest energy.

To facilitate these processes, it is useful to seek common goals, depersonalize the problem and, if necessary, use a neutral mediator or manage time-outs to cool tempers