Overcoming Discomfort and Fear

Male Paralysis and Exposure Therapy

Today, there is a growing phenomenon that could be termed "fear of interaction" or social anxiety towards female colleagues in the work environment.

Studies indicate that a significant majority of men, up to 60%, feel uncomfortable performing activities such as mentoring, socializing or working one-on-one with women, for fear that their actions will be misinterpreted.

This withdrawal is counterproductive, as it isolates women from networks of power and informal learning.

To overcome this barrier, behavioral psychology suggests an approach known as "exposure therapy": the only way to lose fear is to interact deliberately and frequently.

A practical model for implementing this could be a structured routine of professional interaction.

For example, commit to a 30-minute virtual or face-to-face coffee every week with a colleague to discuss business issues; spend five minutes weekly to formally recognize a colleague's achievement; and one minute to publicly highlight her contribution in front of other leaders.

If your intentions are genuinely professional and you seek to improve as an ally, there is no reason to fear; transparency is the best antidote to mistrust.

Initiating Conversations with Purpose and Respect

One of the most common questions is how to initiate these interactions without creating misleading situations. The key is specificity and context.

A vague invitation such as "Would you like to go out for a drink?" can be ambiguous and generate discomfort.

Instead, the approach should be anchored in a specific professional interest.

A suitable example would be, "I noticed that you successfully handled the crisis with client X. I'd like to learn from your approach to apply it to my client. I would like to learn from your approach to apply it to my current project. Could we schedule 20 minutes for you to tell me about your experience?".

This approach clearly sets the tone for the relationship: it is a learning partnership, not a casual social interaction.

From there, trust building happens by being yourself. It is critical to approach these conversations with humility and genuine curiosity, avoiding an attitude of invasive questioning.

Interest should focus on your professional aspirations and business vision. Finally, it is vital to respect boundaries: gender intelligence involves understanding that building a solid professional relationship does not require crossing lines into the overly personal or intimate.

Summary

There is a growing social anxiety among men about interacting with female colleagues, fearing that their actions will be misinterpreted. This withdrawal is harmful because it isolates women professionals from the networks of power and informal learning necessary for their growth.

To overcome this fear, "exposure therapy" through routine and transparent interactions is suggested. Committing to weekly virtual coffees or public acknowledgements helps normalize the professional relationship, demonstrating that transparency is the best antidote to mistrust.

Invitations should be specific and anchored in concrete business interests to avoid awkward ambiguities. Approaching these conversations with genuine curiosity about your aspirations and respecting professional boundaries allows you to build the necessary trust without crossing lines into the personal.