Transcription Active listening
It consists of showing that one is listening, listening and hearing, trying to understand in its totality what is being communicated and to understand it from one's own point of view. It is a physical mental effort in order to understand the meaning of what is heard, it is to adequately grasp the message in its totality in terms of content, feelings and emotions.
The brain has a processing capacity of between 350 and 700 words per minute, on the other hand, the ability to process spoken messages exceeds only 130 words per minute, this difference in capabilities is complemented by accessory thoughts of what is said.
Active listening helps to relieve tensions, precisely that is one of the utilities in coaching, in addition to reassuring, achieve cooperation (people cooperate more when they satisfy their need to be heard).
In order to try to improve listening skills, it is essential to have a good physical preparation (being relaxed, maintaining eye and facial contact and expression of interest), as well as a good mental preparation (listening to the tone, content, open mind, concentration, asking the right questions).
Elements that facilitate active listening
Psychological readiness. Be prepared to listen, identify what you are saying, feelings and objectives. Express that you are listening, with some verbal communication ("I see", "Umm"), and with nonverbal communication (slight body leaning forward, gestures, eye contact).
Don't get distracted. It is easy to get distracted, especially because the attention curve starts high, decreases towards the middle of the conversation, to increase again towards the end, so it is important to achieve optimal concentration on that point where the curve descends, so that attention does not decline:
- Do not interrupt the speaker.
- Do not judge.
- Do not offer help or solutions prematurely.
- Do not reject what the other person feels, avoid expressions such as "don't worry, it's nothing".
- Do not tell "your story" when the other person speaks.
- Do not counter-argue. For example, if the other person says "I feel bad", avoid responses such as "me too".
Avoid the expert syndrome. That is, having all the answers to the problem at hand before he has even told you half of it.
Phrases such as "I don't want to hear you say that again," "How can you think that," or nonverbal language such as turning away or avoiding their gaze, may indicate that communication is being rejected.
Active listening skills and techniques
- Empathy: This is a skill that allows us to understand and experience the point of view of others, without necessarily having to agree. Phrases such as: "I understand what you feel" are used. Physical contact can be important as verbal language, but should be used with discretion, some people are reluctant and may interpret it as an obstacle.
- Paraphrasing: It means to say in one's own words or to verify what the other person has just said. It helps to verify and not misinterpret what you are hearing. Example: "as far as I can see, what happens is that..."
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