Types of self-pity. fierce and tender

Self-compassion does not manifest itself in a single way; it can take different forms depending on the need of the moment.

Two main types of self-compassionate response are distinguished: "fierce" self-compassion and "tender" self-compassion, both aimed at alleviating suffering and promoting well-being, but through different mechanisms of action.

Fierce Self-Pity. Protection and Motivation for Change

Fierce self-pity is activated when it is necessary to protect oneself, set limits or motivate active change in the face of a situation that causes discomfort or is harmful.

It involves taking a firm and determined stance to take care of oneself.

This may manifest itself in the ability to say "no" to excessive demands, in taking action to get out of harmful environments, or in standing up for one's own needs.

For example, in the face of excessive requests for time, fierce self-pity might lead to actively protecting one's own space and energy, negotiating or refusing compromises.

It is a form of self-compassion that empowers and mobilizes toward protective action and constructive change.

Tender Self-Compassion. Warmth and Healing

Tender self-compassion, on the other hand, is characterized by a warm, gentle and comforting treatment of oneself, especially in times of vulnerability, pain or failure.

It involves being fully present with one's own suffering, welcoming it with kindness and nurturing emotional wounds.

This type of self-pity resembles the care that would be offered to a suffering l