Practices to cultivate self-kindness

Self-kindness, one of the pillars of self-compassion, involves treating yourself with the same gentleness, care, and understanding you would offer a close friend who is suffering or has made a mistake.

Developing this quality requires conscious practice and a shift in self-talk.

Transforming the Inner Critic

The first step is to become aware of the voice of the "inner critic"—that part of us that tends to judge, blame, and magnify mistakes.

Once you've identified this voice, you can begin to question its harshness and try to respond to it with the same kindness you would use with a friend.

Ask yourself, "Would I speak this way to someone I love who is going through this?" can help modulate the self-critical tone.

Kind and comforting phrases directed at oneself can be used, such as: "It's understandable that you feel this way," "You are doing the best you can with what you have," "Allow yourself to be imperfect."

Gestures of Physical and Emotional Self-Care

Self-kindness is also expressed through concrete actions of self-care.

This can include attending to physical needs (resting when tired, eating well), but also emotional needs.

A simple but powerful gesture is comforting physical contact, such as placing a hand on one's heart or giving oneself a hug in times of discomfort.

These gestures can activate the nervous system's calming response.

Allowing oneself to take time out, engaging in activities that one enjoys, or seeking out environments that convey peace are also forms of self-kindness.

Self-Compassionate Writing

Writing about your own difficul