Parenting Styles I: Authoritarian and Permissive

The impact of strict discipline vs. lack of limits.

Child personality development is intrinsically linked to the normative architecture established by parents.

In the spectrum of parenting, we find two opposing poles that generate very different dynamics. On the one hand, the Authoritarian style is defined by absolute disciplinary rigidity.

Expectations on the child are high, but communication is unidirectional: rules are imposed, not debated. If a child under this regime asks "why?", the invariable answer is "because I said so".

There is no room for negotiation or flexibility, and affection is usually subordinated to blind obedience.

At the opposite extreme is the Permissive style, where parents often position themselves more as "colleagues" or friends than as authority figures.

Although they are often very affectionate and communicative, they fail miserably at restraint. They set theoretical boundaries, but rarely apply consequences when they are crossed.

Imagine a child who insults another child on the playground; the permissive parent might justify it by saying that "he is simply expressing frustration," without correcting the antisocial behavior.

The child grows up in an environment where his actions have no tangible repercussions, which impedes the development of self-regulation.

Consequences on the child's self-esteem

The psychological sequelae of these styles are profound and often counterintuitive.

Children raised under an authoritarian regime are often obedient and "well-behaved" in public, but this conformity is fragile.

They lack spontaneity and tend to develop low self-esteem, as they internalize that their worth depends exclusively on following external orders, and are more prone to depression in adulthood.

On the other hand, children of permissive parents face different but equally serious challenges.

Despite receiving a lot of affection, they tend to have low self-esteem and high levels of sadness. This is because the lack of structure creates insecurity; they never really know what is expected of them or how far they can go.

Academically they tend to perform poorly due to lack of discip