How to help a friend who is being cyberbullied to report it.

Be an Active Advocate (Upstander), not a Passive Observer

The role of the friend is crucial to change the dynamics of bullying. The first helpful action is to take a stand and stop being a passive observer (bystander). This means becoming an active advocate (upstander).

Under no circumstances should help be about responding to the aggressor publicly, as this only adds fuel to the fire and can put the friend in the crosshairs as well. Effective help begins in private.

The friend should contact the victim and offer explicit support: "I've seen what's happening," "You don't deserve it and you're not alone," "I'm with you."

This simple act of validation is incredibly powerful, as cyberbullying seeks to isolate the victim.

In addition, the friend must refuse to participate: he/she must not share the humiliating content, or give it a "like", or even forward it out of curiosity.

Accompanying the Complaint (The Crucial Step)

The victim of cyberbullying is often paralyzed by fear, shame and the feeling that reporting will make things worse or will bring problems (such as losing the cell phone).

The role of the friend is to be a facilitator of the report, not a mere spectator. The fear of taking the step of telling an adult is immense, and the most valuable help is accompaniment.

The friend should offer to be physically present when the victim tells her parents or a teacher.

Phrases such as, "Do you want to go talk to the tutor together?" or "Do you want me to be with you when you tell your parents this afternoon?" can make all the difference.

If the victim adamantly refuses to talk, the friend has a moral responsibility to inform a trusted adult himself (his own parents, a teacher), explaining the situation to them so they can intervene and protect the victim.

Technical Assistance: Gathering Evidence

For the report (whether on the platform, at the school or to the police) to be effective, evidence is needed.

The victim's impulse is often to delete the messages or images so that the pain goes away.

The friend should advise the opposite action: "Don't delete anything". The friend can help the victim collect and save evidence in a systematic way.

This includes taking screenshots of comments, chat conversations, fake profiles and humiliating images.

It is important that these screenshots show the date, time and the name of the offender's profile (if visible).

Saving this evidence in a safe place (a cloud folder, email) is critical to the formal complaint process.

Summary

The first step is to break the observer's silence and support the victim in private. Validating her feelings and reassuring her that she is not alone is crucial for her to dare to act.

The victim should be advised not to erase anything. Help her to collect evidence (screenshots) of messages and profiles, but without responding to the aggressor or sharing the content

The most important step is to accompany the victim to tell an adult (parents or teachers). Offering to go together overcomes fear. If the victim does not dare, the friend should inform him.