Tips for when our children are victims of bullying

Reinforcing Self-Esteem and Support Networks

Bullying is a direct attack on a child's identity and self-esteem.

The main objective of the aggressor is to make the victim feel isolated, defective and helpless.

Therefore, the first line of action for parents, parallel to school intervention, should be the reconstruction of their child's self-image.

It is crucial to remind him daily of his strengths, his unique qualities and the unconditional love his family feels for him.

It must be verbalized that bullying is a problem of the aggressor (his lack of empathy or his own frustrations), not a fault of the victim.

At the same time, social isolation must be combated. School is only one part of the child's life.

Parents should actively encourage the child's participation in safe environments outside of school: extracurricular activities that they are passionate about (sports, art, music, technology), youth groups, or simply spending quality time with extended family and trusted friends.

These new circles will provide him with positive interactions, allow him to develop new friendships and remind him that he is a valid and valued person, reducing the power that the hostile school environment has over him.

Teaching Assertiveness and Emotional Management (No Blame)

It is critical that the child regain a sense of control, but without blaming him for not standing up for himself earlier.

Parents can train assertiveness skills at home through role-playing.

Practicing calm but firm responses ("I don't like what you are doing and I want you to stop", "That comment is out of line") can give them tools to manage future interactions.

It is also vital to teach them to manage fear and anger; validate those emotions and find ways to channel them (talking, writing, physical activity) so they don't become entrenched.

This does not mean teaching them to "hit back," which, as mentioned, is counterproductive.

It means teaching her to protect herself: to use safe body language (look in the eyes, keep her back straight), to not show the fear that the aggressor is looking for, and, above all, to know when to remove herself from a dangerous situation and seek adult help immediately.

This is about empowerment, not confrontation.

Follow-up and the Professional Support Option

After informing the school, the parents' work is not over; the follow-up phase begins.

They should maintain regular and fluid communication (perhaps weekly) with the tutor to monitor that the protective measures are being complied with and that the bullying is ceasing.

If the situation does not improve, parents should escalate their complaint to management, the educational inspectorate or seek legal advice, if necessary.

In parallel, be honest about the psychological impact. Bullying leaves wounds.

Parents should be very attentive to signs of persistent anxiety or depression.

Seeking professional psychological help (a child therapist) is not a sign of failure, but an act of responsibility.

A professional will provide the child with a neutral space to process the trauma and give him or her specialized tools to heal self-esteem and regain confidence.

Summary

The main focus should be to rebuild the victim's self-esteem. Remind them of their strengths and encourage safe social environments outside of school, such as after-school activities, to break their isolation.

It is helpful to teach assertiveness skills, without blaming the victim. Practicing assertive responses and how to manage fear gives him tools to protect himself, but without resorting to violence.

Parents should follow up closely with the school. If the bullying persists or the emotional damage is great, seeking professional psychological support is a necessary step to heal the trauma