Specific Tactics: Withholding and Trivialization

Techniques of "blocking and deflecting," selective forgetting and denial of obvious facts.

To execute gaslighting effectively, manipulators employ an arsenal of rhetorical tactics designed to frustrate communication and disorient.

One of the most common is withholding, where the aggressor pretends not to understand what the victim is saying or refuses to listen, using phrases such as "I don't know what you're talking about" or "you're confusing things again," forcing the person to doubt their ability to express themselves.

Another tactic is countering, which involves directly questioning the victim's memory of a specific event, often by inventing new details or asking if she was sober or inattentive at the time.

Blocking and deflecting is also used, a maneuver to abruptly change the subject or question the validity of the victim's thoughts, thus preventing the actual problem or abusive behavior of the manipulator from being addressed.

These techniques seek to exhaust the victim, making him or her feel that trying to clarify the facts is a futile and confusing exercise.

Accusing the victim of being "overly sensitive" or unstable.

Trivialization is perhaps the most emotionally invalidating tool.

When the victim reacts to hurtful behavior or a lie, the manipulator does not address the fact, but the reaction.

He or she is accused of being "overly sensitive," "making a drama out of nothing," or "overreacting."

This strategy minimizes the person's feelings and needs, making him or her feel that his or her emotions are flawed or disproportionate.

In advanced stages, the manipulator introduces direct doubts about the victim's mental stability.

Phrases such as "you forget a lot of things lately," "you are not making sense," or suggestions that she needs rest or professional help, serve to delegitimize any future claims.

If the perpetrator succeeds in convincing the victim (and sometimes the environment) that she is the "irrational" or "unstable" one, she ensures her impunity, since any accusations against her will be dismissed as the product of a disturbed mind.

Summary

They use tactics such as pretending not to understand or denying facts ("blocking and deflecting") to frustrate communication and exhaust the victim. They question the person's memory to invalidate his or her claims and generate confusion.

Trivialization minimizes feelings, accusing the victim of being "overly sensitive" or overreacting to hurtful behaviors. This makes the person feel that their emotions are flawed or disproportionate.

In advanced stages, they directly question the victim's mental stability to delegitimize any future accusations. If they convince the environment that the victim is "irrational," they ensure their own impunity.