Triangulation and provoked jealousy

The fabrication of insecurity

Triangulation consists of introducing a third person (real or imaginary) into the couple's dynamics to generate instability, competition and jealousy in the victim.

The perverse aggressor is an expert in provoking these feelings without the need to be explicitly unfaithful.

He leaves "false" or ambiguous clues, such as travel tickets that do not add up or half-hearted conversations, in order to make the victim suspicious and distressed.

When the victim, devoured by doubt, asks for explanations, the aggressor denies everything and accuses her of being pathologically jealous and controlling.

This tactic allows him to destabilize her emotionally while he remains in a position of power, watching her struggle for his attention.

Destructive comparisons ("Micro-violence").

A subtle but devastating form of triangulation is the constant comparison with other people to devalue the partner.

The aggressor may openly praise former partners ("she cooked better"), celebrities or even friends of the victim, highlighting virtues that are supposedly lacking in the current partner.

Phrases such as "look how well that woman keeps herself at her age" carry the implicit message: "you are not enough".

He may also give the reason to third parties in arguments, even if they are not right, just to embarrass the victim and ally himself with the "rival".

These micro-aggressions undermine self-esteem drop by drop, making the victim feel inferior and replaceable.

The public and private double face

The triangulation game is exacerbated in social situations.

The offender often appears markedly charming, friendly and flirtatious with other people in front of his partner, offering others the affectionate treatment he denies her in private.

However, when these third persons are not present, he speaks ill of them. This contradictory behavior further confuses the victim.

On the one hand, she sees how her partner is capable of being kind (which makes her think that she is the problem), and on the other hand, she feels the humiliation of being ignored while he shines socially.

It is a form of covert public contempt that only the victim can decode as a threat.

Summary

Triangulation introduces third parties into the relationship to generate insecurity and competition; the aggressor leaves ambiguous clues and, when confronted, accuses the victim of being pathologically jealous and controlling.

Destructive comparisons with former partners or celebrities are used to subtly devalue the victim, sending the implicit message that she is inadequate and replaceable, which progressively undermines her self-esteem.

This dynamic is exacerbated in public, where the aggressor is charming to others while ignoring his partner; a covert humiliation that confuses the victim and makes her feel guilty about her own discomfort.