The Neutral Observer Position

When a disagreement becomes emotional, it is difficult to maintain objectivity and see the situation clearly.

The Perceptual Positions method is a powerful tool for resolving conflict, as it allows you to step away from your own emotional bias and understand the other person's perspective as well as the dynamics of the interaction from an outside position.

This technique is based on assuming three points of view: yours, the other person's and that of a neutral observer.

Assuming the three points of view

The first step is to see the situation from your own position, thinking about what you felt, what you thought and how you reacted.

The second step is to put yourself in the other person's shoes, using empathy to imagine how the interaction felt from their perspective.

This is especially difficult if your behavior was less than ideal, as the tendency is to justify it.

The third and most revealing step is to assume the position of a neutral observer, someone who has no emotional attachment to the situation.

From this perspective, you can watch the interaction as if it were a television show, observing the actions and reactions of both without judgment.

Overcoming the illusory superiority bias

Most people suffer from a cognitive bias called illusory superiority, where they overestimate their own qualities and abilities.

This bias makes it difficult for us to see our mistakes and how our behavior may have affected others.

The perceptual positions method forces us to confront this bias, as it shows us how our behaviors could have been counterproductive.

Integrating the new perspective

After having analyzed the interaction from the three positions, one must integrate the new perspectives into one's own view.

The key is to use the insights gained to reorient one's behavior and communication in a more responsible and productive way.

This process not only helps to resolve the conflict in question, but also strengthens our ability to handle future interactions in a more objective and balanced manner.

Summary

The Perceptual Positions method helps you resolve conflicts by moving away from your emotional bias. It is based on assuming three points of view: yours, the other person's and that of a neutral observer.

The third and most revealing step is the neutral observer position. From this perspective, you can view the interaction without judgment. This method forces us to confront the illusory superiority bias, which prevents us from seeing our mistakes.

By integrating new perspectives into your vision, you can reorient your behavior in a more responsible way. This process not only resolves conflict, but strengthens your ability to handle future interactions with objectivity.