Defensive People Management

Defensive people can turn even the simplest conversation into a complicated argument because their fear of criticism causes them to react with a wall of justifications, anger, or evasion.

This attitude doesn't have as much to do with you as it does with the person's insecurities and past experiences where they felt judged or undervalued.

Therefore, to have a constructive conversation, it's essential to address the problem with strategies that don't activate their defense mechanism.

The first key is to shift the focus from the defect to the observation.

If you start the conversation with phrases like "you always do this wrong," the person is likely to shut down immediately.

On the other hand, if you focus on the facts and your observations, you can open the door to dialogue.

A phrase like "I find that when I try to talk about something important, I feel like the topic gets sidetracked" is much less threatening than a direct accusation.

Another powerful tool is to validate their point of view before expressing yours.

Empathy is a bridge that lowers the guard of the defensive person.

You can start with phrases like, "It seems that you were frustrated that I didn't consider your opinion, I understand that.

Now, I also wanted to explain how this impacted me...".

This way of approaching the conversation shows that you respect their perspective without giving up your own.

It is vital to avoid getting caught in arguments about who is right.

Defensive people often avoid responsibility by blaming others.

Instead of entering into a debate about who is responsible, it is better to redirect the conversation towards the solution: "It's not about blaming anyone, but rather about finding a way for this not to happen again."

Finally, if the person shuts down emotionally, insisting will only make things worse.

In these cases, it is more effective to offer a respectful exit: "I am sorry that this issue has bothered you is proving difficult right now.

If you'd like, we can pause and come back to this