[All Forever] and [It's You]

There are two patterns of toxic communication that are often unconsciously used to escalate a conflict and attack the other person.

These patterns are based on exaggeration and personalization, and their effect is highly destructive to any relationship.

The first pattern is "everything is forever," which involves the use of absolute and generalized statements, such as "always" or "never."

Phrases like "You never listen to me" or "You always do the same thing" not only exaggerate the situation, but also negate any past positive efforts or behavior.

In times of tension, frustration and disappointment can lead people to believe that one unfortunate incident applies to all of reality, leaving the other person feeling judged and hopeless for improvement.

The antidote to this type of communication is to keep your comments specific to the situation.

Instead of saying "you're always late," you can say "You were late today, and that caused a problem."

The second pattern is "it's you," which attacks the person's character rather than their behavior.

Phrases like "You're lazy" or "Why are you always complaining?" They extrapolate a specific moment to attack someone's identity or universal vision.

This type of comment is perceived as a personal and non-constructive attack, causing the other person to immediately become defensive instead of listening to the problem.

The best way to detoxify this type of situation is to stick to the specifics and not personalize.

Instead of saying "you're lazy," you can say "I thought you said you'd finish studying this morning, but you didn't."

This approach focuses on observable behavior and the impact it had, which opens the door to a