The Three-Perspective Framework

During a conflict, it's easy to get trapped in our own vision of reality, convinced that we're right.

The three-perspective approach, a tool from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), is a mental exercise designed to break through this tunnel vision and analyze the situation from three distinct angles: our own, the other person's, and that of an outside observer.

The First Perspective: Your Own View

This is our natural starting point: how we experience the conflict, what we feel, and what we think.

The first step is simply to recognize and accept our own perspective without judgment, understanding that it is our subjective truth.

The Second Perspective: The Empathic View

This step requires a conscious effort to put yourself in the other person's shoes.

The goal is to try to experience the situation from their point of view: What might they be feeling? What are their motivations? How might they have interpreted my words or actions? It's about understanding its internal logic, even if we don't share it.

The Third Perspective: The Neutral Observer's View

Here, we distance ourselves emotionally and observe the interaction as if we were an impartial spectator, a "fly on the wall."

From this position, we analyze the dynamics between both parties: communication patterns, body language, tones of voice.

This view is the most objective and often reveals how both parties are contributing to the problem.

This exercise is a powerful tool for gaining objectivity and empathy.

By integrating the insights from the three positions, we gain a more complete understanding of the conflict, allowing us to choose a more responsible and constructiv