Identifying and Overcoming Communication Barriers

Despite our best intentions, there are often obstacles that hinder effective communication and lead to misunderstandings and conflict.

These barriers can be unconscious habits that sabotage our conversations.

However, by identifying them and applying simple, practical tools, we can learn to overcome them, fostering clearer, more respectful and connected interactions in the family setting.

Common barriers: inattention, judgments, interruptions, and ambiguous language.

There are several common barriers that prevent smooth and genuine communication.

Inattention: Being distracted while someone is talking to us, either by our cell phone or our own thoughts, gives the impression that we do not value what the other person is saying and can lead to misunderstandings.

Judgments or Prejudices: Having preconceived ideas about the other person or judging their words before they have finished speaking affects the way we interpret their message.

It is critical to listen with an open mind and without judgment to truly understand their perspective.

Interruptions: Cutting someone off while they are speaking is not only disrespectful, but it prevents them from fully expressing their message, which can lead to great frustration and shut down the communication channel.

Confusing or Ambiguous Language: Using language that can be interpreted in different ways is a recipe for confusion.

It is essential to be specific and clear in what we want to communicate to avoid misunderstandings.

Practical tools: paraphrasing and use of "I messages".

To overcome these barriers, we can apply very effective communication tools.

Paraphrasing: This technique consists of repeating in our own words what we have understood from the other person's message to confirm that the interpretation is correct.

For example, you can say, "So, what I understand is that you are frustrated because we haven't talked about this before, is that right?".

This simple check avoids assumptions and demonstrates that we are actively listening.

Using "I-messages" instead of "You-messages": Instead of using accusatory phrases such as "You always do this," which put the other person on the defensive, it is more constructive to use phrases that express our own feelings.

For example, say, "I get frustrated when this happens."

This change in approach reduces the likelihood of a defensive reaction and opens the door to a more honest and collaborative dialogue.

Summary

There are common barriers to fluid and genuine communication. These include inattention, judgments, interruptions, and ambiguous language.

To overcome these barriers, we can apply very effective communication tools. One is paraphrasing: repeating in our words what we understood to confirm.

Another tool is to use "I messages" instead of "You messages." "I get frustrated" reduces defensiveness, as opposed to "You always do."