Language and its Influence on Family Hierarchy

The words we use on a daily basis have immense power to build or deconstruct the structure of our home.

Often, linguistic habits that seem harmless may actually be undermining parental authority and upsetting the family balance.

Understanding the impact of our language is critical to reaffirming roles and maintaining a healthy hierarchy, where children feel safe and guided, not in charge.

The power of words: analysis of the use of "daddy" or "mommy" with the children.

A common and deeply damaging mistake is to call children "daddy," "mommy," "daddy," "daddy," or "mommy.

Although often done with affection, it is crucial to be aware of the power of the verb.

The words "daddy" and "mommy" are intrinsically linked to authority; they designate the person in charge at home.

By using these terms with a child, we are symbolically elevating him or her to a level of power that does not correspond to him or her, altering the natural order of the family system.

Children should take their place in the subgroup of children, regardless of their age.

When we place them in a position of authority through language, it is almost impossible to maintain our own.

In fact, it is extremely rare to find a family where parents exercise healthy authority if they have this habit, because the child unconsciously assumes that he is the one who must be obeyed.

There are thousands of affectionate alternatives such as "my darling" or "sweetheart" that do not compromise the family structure.

Reaffirming the role of parent versus "friend".

Today, many parents struggle with the idea of whether they should be "friends" with their children.

This confusion is a source of weakness that prevents them from exercising authority with conviction. The answer is clear: your children are not your friends.

For that, they have their own peers, people their own age to share their experiences with.

Your fundamental and irreplaceable role is that of being a parent. This does not imply being an authoritarian or distant parent.

You can be a loving, understanding, fun and close parent, but always well positioned in the place of authority.

The idea of being the "best friend" of your 13-year-old child is a mistake that stems from a lack of conviction in one's own role.

This inner weakness is transmitted in every action and word, detracting strength from any attempt to establish limits.

Therefore, it is vital to rescue the idea that authority is necessary and beneficial for the proper functioning of the family system, and to assume it with love and security.

Summary

The words we use have the power to build or deconstruct the structure of the home. Linguistic habits that seem harmless may be undermining authority.

It is a harmful mistake to call children "daddy" or "mommy". These words designate authority and disrupt the natural order of the family system.

Your fundamental role is to be a parent, not a friend to your children. You can be close, but always well positioned in the place of authority.