Strategy 1: Explain and Ignore

One of the most effective strategies for handling tantrums in the preschool stage is the "Explain and Ignore" method.

This technique is based on a key psychological principle: attention, even if it is negative, acts as fuel for unwanted behavior.

By withdrawing attention from the tantrum, we take away its power. However, the application of this strategy must be intelligently tailored depending on whether the conflict occurs in the privacy of the home or in a public space.

How to apply the technique at home so as not to reinforce the behavior

When a tantrum erupts at home, management focuses on not feeding the behavior with attention.

The process is simple but requires firmness:

Explain only once: Give the child a brief, clear, single explanation as to why he can't have what he wants. For example, "I'm not giving you dessert because you didn't eat your food."

Ignore completely: Once the explanation is given, the next step is to ignore the tantrum.

This is crucial because children have an immense need for attention, and any behavior that provides it (whether scolding, begging, or bargaining) will automatically be reinforced.

Repeating the explanation 20 times is counterproductive, as it is still a form of attention.

Monitor quietly: Ignoring does not mean abandoning the child. It is important to watch him discreetly to make sure he does not hurt himself during his tantrum.

Turn the page: When the drama is over (and it will be over, even if it seems like forever), just go on with life as normal.

This is not the time to lecture or rehash the issue. Move on to the next activity as if nothing happened.

The goal is to teach her that tantrums are not an effective means of getting attention or changing a decision.

Adaptation of the technique for public places (e.g., supermarket).

In public places, ignoring a tantrum is not always practical or possible.

The strategy, therefore, becomes "Warn and Act," and requires foolproof consistency.

Establish the rule beforehand: Before entering the store, give a clear warning, "We're here to buy food today, we're not buying toys."

The one-time warning: Despite the warning, the child is likely to ask for a toy and, upon refusal, start a tantrum.

At that point, give a single, firm warning with a clear, enforceable consequence. For example, "If you don't calm down and keep screaming, we're going to go home right now."

Follow through with the consequence without hesitation: If the child does not obey the warning, you must follow through with the consequence immediately, no matter how inconvenient.

This may mean leaving the shopping cart full and leaving the store to take it home.

This action, while annoying at the time, is a long-term investment.

After one or two times, the child will learn that your warnings are serious ("it's for real") and that public tantrums have a real and unpleasant consequence.

If, on the other hand, you give in to his insistence, you will be teaching him that tantrums are an effective tool for manipulating you, and the behavior will only get worse.

Summary

The "Explain and Ignore" strategy is very effective for handling tantrums. It is based on the fact that attention, even negative attention, acts as fuel.

At home: explain the reason once and then ignore the tantrum. Ignoring is not giving up; you must silently supervise that no harm is done.

In public, the technique becomes "Warn and Act." Give a single warning with a clear consequence, and follow through without hesitation.