From Passive Responsibility to Action

The Perception Gap and Ethical Vigilance

There is an alarming disconnect in the perception of commitment to equality.

While 80% of men claim to be doing all they can to support gender equity, only 40% of women agree with that statement.

This gap arises from what we call "passive responsibility": maintaining an internal posture of non-aggression, but remaining absent or silent when corrective external action is required. True alliance is composed of two parts.

• The first, simple part is to minimize one's biases.
• The second, much more demanding, involves becoming an "active watchdog" for dignity and respect.

When a man intervenes publicly to point out an injustice, the impact is twofold: it raises the consciousness of his male peers (who may not have noticed the problem) and it validates the confidence of women, who often see their performance and self-esteem increase as they feel they are not fighting the system alone.

An active advocate does not wait for blatant discrimination; she acts on subtle signs of exclusion.

The Two-Second Rule and Ownership of Criticism

To overcome "bystander paralysis," it is useful to apply a cognitive methodology known as the two-second rule.

The mental process requires four quick steps: observe the bias, define it as a problem, take responsibility for intervening, and decide what to say.

Since doubt can silence us, it is recommended to have "icebreaker" responses ready.

An effective technique is to verbalize a simple interjection such as "Ouch!" or a quizzical phrase such as "Could you repeat that? I didn't get the joke."

This buys valuable time to formulate a more articulate response and signals immediately that a line has been crossed. It is crucial, when intervening, to own the discomfort.

A common mistake is to externalize the reason for the complaint by using the female presence as an excuse, with phrases such as "Watch your language, there are ladies present."

This is counterproductive because it suggests that the comment would be acceptable in an all-male environment.

The correct intervention should be personal and direct: "I find that comment offe