Strategic Confrontation

Defusing Sexism Disguised as Humor

One of the most insidious tools of patriarchy is sexist humor. Jokes that denigrate women or sexualize the work environment increase the general tolerance for harassment and hostile discrimination.

The challenge for the ally is not to be fooled by the "it's just a joke" label.

Imagine a situation where, after closing a difficult contract, a colleague comments on the client's dress rather than her negotiating skills, or insinuates that she got the job for personal favors. Remaining silent provides tacit validation.

The response should make it clear that such behaviors are not part of the organizational culture.

Socratic questions such as "What does your appearance have to do with your technical competence?" or "Could you explain to me why that's funny?" are often effective in disarming the aggressor without the need for aggressive conflict.

Decision Matrix: Public or Private?

Confronting other men is complex due to fear of retaliation or social isolation. To act effectively, the context must be strategically assessed.

As a general rule, most people react defensively to public humiliation.

Therefore, if the offense stems from ignorance but there is good intent, or if the person is open to dialogue, correction should be made in private. However, there are critical exceptions.

If the comment is highly offensive, hostile or repetitive, the intervention should be public and immediate to set a clear boundary before the group. In addition, the ally should be the voice of those who are not present.

In hiring or promotion committees, be alert to subjective "red flags".

If a candidate is dismissed with vague phrases such as "I'm not sure she's a good fit" or "she has a complicated family life," the advocate should demand objective evidence and counter-argue with data on competencies and skills, remembering that diversity improves results.

In the face of resistance or defensive questions about why so much emphasis is placed on gender, the best weapon is calm and the use of statistical data on disparities and the benefits of inclusion.