Validation and Leveling the Field

Assumption of Competence and Bias Support

A fundamental pillar of fairness in day-to-day dealings is to start from the basic premise that women are capable and competent by default.

Often, without malice, men operate under erroneous or unconscious assumptions about the capabilities of their female partners. An ally must be vigilant in challenging these notions.

If, for example, on a site visit it is automatically assumed that the lead female architect is the administrative assistant, the ally must immediately correct the perception and reassert his leadership role.

In addition, it is crucial to validate and normalize the experiences women share about sexism or microaggressions.

Instead of dismissing a complaint with phrases like "I'm sure she didn't mean that" or "you're overreacting," an ally acts as a confidant who believes and supports her colleague.

Feeling heard and believed rather than judged goes a long way toward making an employee feel valued.

If we observe an unfair situation, the right thing to do is to approach afterward and ask, "I noticed what happened in the meeting, are you okay, how can I support you?"

Fairness in Demand and Careful Feedback.

Leveling the playing field involves, especially for those in leadership, setting and communicating the same performance expectations for everyone, rejecting the unspoken idea that a woman must demonstrate a higher standard of excellence to deserve the same position as a man.

An inclusive leader is aware of the additional obstacles they face (biases, double burden), but does not make the mistake of patronizing or "going easy on" them; he or she demands the same professional standards from them as everyone else. Finally, handling feedback requires caution.

An ally should be willing to point out aspects that could harm a colleague's career, but should refrain from giving unsolicited advice on style or personality.

Before making a comment about how a woman "should" present herself or speak, it is helpful to apply the reversal test: "Would you say this same thing to a man?"

If the answer is no (e.g., tell her to "smile more" or that she is "too aggressive"), then it is bias and not professional advice.

Effective feedback should always be preceded by an established relations