The Avoidant and Complacent style

The Avoidant style: avoidance as a defense mechanism

The Avoidant style is characterized by a tendency to escape conflict, ignore it and postpone the inevitable.

People who adopt this style believe that, if the problem is not talked about, it will disappear by itself, which is a very superficial view of reality.

They avoid uncomfortable debates, distance themselves from people who could generate friction and minimize the seriousness of disagreements.

This style is often used when the subject under discussion is not of great importance, or when the relationship is so valuable that the person does not want to put it at risk.

However, the constant use of this style has a high long-term cost.

The person using it represses his or her emotions, which generates frustration, anxiety and resentment.

Moreover, by avoiding conflict, opportunities for growth, innovation and strengthening relationships that can arise from constructive confrontation are lost.

Avoidance is not a solution; it is a way of postponing a problem that will inevitably recur, with greater intensity and with the parties further apart.

The Complacent Style: peace at any price

The Complacent style is characterized by a submissive attitude in which the person gives in easily, often at the expense of his or her own needs and convictions, in order to maintain harmony or peace in the relationship.

The complacent person prioritizes the relationship over the outcome, sacrificing his or her own interests to satisfy others.

It can be useful in situations where a relationship is more important than the issue in dispute, such as allowing a friend to choose the restaurant, but its constant use creates a lack of respect for one's own needs and a sense of powerlessness.

Excessive use of this style can lead to resentment, low self-esteem and a perception of being manipulated.

Over time, the person may feel ignored and underappreciated, leading to a cycle of frustration and a possible outburst of anger.

Complacency is not a solution, as the real problem is never addressed.

To solve this problem, the complacent person needs to learn to be assertive, which is the ability to express needs and set boundaries clearly and respectfully, without aggression or giving in.

Self-care is a fundamental step for the complacent person to be able to set limi