The Harvard model: separating the people from the problem.

The first principle of the Harvard Negotiation Model is to be tough on the problem, but never on the person.

This principle is fundamental to prevent emotions and personal attacks from getting in the way of effectively resolving a conflict.

Unlike a competitive approach, where the goal is to win at all costs, this model promotes cooperation to find a win-win solution that benefits all parties involved.

The key is to view conflict as a separate entity, a problem to be solved as a team, rather than a battle between individuals.

To apply this principle, it is crucial to differentiate between the people and the problem itself.

In a discussion, it is easy to fall into the trap of personal attacks or blaming the other person, but this only generates resentment and puts people on the defensive, making constructive dialogue impossible.

Therefore, you should focus the conversation on the facts and not on emotions or assumptions.

Instead of saying "You are always late and irresponsible", you could say "The report was delivered late, how can we prevent it from happening again?".

This shift in focus from blame to solution depersonalizes the conflict and opens the door to collaboration.

The model also stresses the importance of empathy in understanding the other person's needs.

An effective leader or negotiator is genuinely interested in the other person's concerns, even if he or she disagrees with them.

Asking open-ended questions such as "What motivates you in this situation?" or "What are your concerns?" demonstrates respect and invites the other to collaborate in finding solutions.

In the end, this approach not only solves the problem, but also strengthens the relationship, as both parties feel heard and respected.

To achieve this, it is helpful to follow these steps:

Identify emotions: Before starting the conversation, recognize your own emotions and those of the other party so as not to get carried away by them.

Focus on the facts: Keep the conversation focused on observable behaviors and data, avoiding subjective interpretations.

Avoid direct confrontation: Use a firm but calm tone of voice and ask thought-provoking rather than defensive questions.

Look for underlying interests: Dig deep to understand why the other person wants what they want, rather than simply arguing about their position.

Recognize the value of the other: Validate each other's input and point of