Why we avoid difficult conversations

Fear as a driver of avoidance

People avoid difficult conversations because of a number of fears that, while understandable, ultimately only make the situation worse.

The main reason for avoidance is the fear of hurting the other person or being hurt.

We believe that, by not confronting the problem, we are protecting the feelings of others, but in reality, we are sacrificing honesty and the possibility of a real solution.

This avoidance is a self-protective strategy that keeps us safe from discomfort, but deprives us of the growth that comes with constructive confrontation.

Another common fear is that the situation will spiral out of control or that the conflict will escalate and the relationship will break down.

People fear that their words may provoke an uncontrollable emotional reaction or that the relationship will be irreparably damaged.

However, the problem with this mentality is that unaddressed conflict doesn't go away; it fester, builds resentment and ends up exploding in more damaging ways.

A difficult conversation is an act of courage and respect, not a war.

The consequences of procrastination

Procrastination only aggravates conflict over time. Resentment and frustration build up silently, deteriorating trust and emotional connection.

Just because you avoid talking about something doesn't mean the other person doesn't feel it.

The energy of the conflict is felt in the relationship through silence, distance or passive attacks, even if the words are not spoken.

When the problem finally erupts, the damage is greater and repair is more difficult.

To address this tendency, it is vital to recognize that avoidance is not a solution.

Maturity lies in understanding that, even if it is uncomfortable, addressing a problem early is the best way to maintain a healthy relationship and to prevent a problem from becoming bigger than it really is.

By doing so, you not only show respect for yourself, but also for the other person and for the relationship.

It is a leadership skill that allows you to stop reacting impulsively to provocations and start responding calmly and intelligently.

Ultimatel