Causes of bullying or harassment by children

Search for Status and Social Power

One of the most common motivations behind bullying behavior is not insecurity, as popularly believed, but rather a calculated quest for dominance and social status.

The bully uses bullying as a tool to climb the social hierarchy of the group.

By selecting a victim and publicly subduing her, he sends a message to the rest of his peers, "I am strong and in control."

Observers, by reacting with fear or laughter (reinforcement), validate his position of power.

This type of bully usually has social skills, but uses them in a manipulative way.

He does not bully because of a lack of self-esteem, but to reinforce a narcissistic self-esteem and to be perceived as "popular" or "leader".

In this model, aggression is a means to an end: to maintain his popularity and ensure that no one dares to challenge his position.

The victim is simply an instrument to demonstrate his power to the group audience.

Personal Shortcomings and Projection of Anger

In contrast to the previous model, there is another profile of aggressor who does act out of deep personal shortcomings. These minors may be projecting their own frustrations, anger or pain.

Often, the aggressor is himself a victim of violence or of a dysfunctional, authoritarian or negligent family environment.

They have learned that violence is a valid way to manage conflicts or to get attention.

In these cases, bullying is a defense mechanism and a release of their own distress.

They choose victims they perceive as weaker because it allows them to feel a sense of control they do not have in other areas of their lives.

In addition, they may have a low frustration tolerance and poorly developed empathy.

They are unable to connect with the suffering they are causing, or even enjoy it sadistically, because it provides them with temporary relief from their own internal discomfort.

The Influence of the Environment and the Normalization of Violence

Bullying does not occur in a vacuum; it is a symptom of an environment that allows or even encourages it.

A root cause is the normalization of violence in the child's context.

If the child is exposed to models of aggression at home (domestic violence), in the media or in the video games he/she plays, he/she may internalize that bullying is an acceptable way of relating to others.

In addition, the culture of the school itself is a determining factor.

If the school has a lax anti-bullying policy, if teachers minimize aggression as "kid's stuff" or if there is no adequate supervision in common spaces (playground, hallways, bathrooms), a perfect breeding ground is created.

The aggressor perceives that his actions will have no consequences, which reinforces his behavior.

Peer pressure and the desire to fit into a violent subculture can also push a minor to engage in bullying.

Summary

A primary cause of bullying is the quest for power and social status. The bully uses bullying to climb the group hierarchy, demonstrating dominance and reinforcing his or her popularity.

Another motivation stems from personal shortcomings. The bully may be a victim of violence at home and projects his or her anger and frustration onto others, exerting control over the weaker ones.

The environment is key: the normalization of violence in the media or family, and the passivity of the school, create an environment where the aggressor feels that his actions will have no consequences.