How to detect if my child suffers from silent bullying through social exclusion

Indicators in the Social and School Routine

Detecting exclusionary bullying requires close observation of the child's social patterns, as the signs are not as obvious as in physical bullying.

One of the first red flags is a drastic change in their social life.

The phone stops ringing, he no longer receives invitations to birthdays or weekend plans, or if he does receive them, they are from a very small circle and never from the main school environment.

The child may begin to spend all recesses alone, perhaps taking refuge in the library or near teachers, and justifies this isolation by saying that he "prefers to be alone" or that "others are boring".

At school, although his academic performance does not initially drop, he may show extreme anxiety about group work.

The prospect of having to look for classmates and the fear of being publicly rejected generates a visible panic.

He may go so far as to ask his parents to talk to the teacher about letting him do the work alone.

In addition, any mention of school social events (field trips, parties) will generate visible discomfort or sadness.

Emotional and Communication Signs

The impact of exclusion is profoundly reflected in the child's mood and how he/she communicates about his/her life. It is common for them to develop a narrative of self-blame.

Instead of saying "I'm being excluded," he will say "no one likes me," "I'm weird," or "I don't know how to make friends."

This internalization of rejection is a clear symptom of feeling responsible for the situation.

Sadness and loneliness are his constant companions, and he may appear especially despondent after checking his social networks, where he is probably seeing pictures of events to which he was not invited.

Parents should be aware of nonverbal language.

The child may avoid eye contact when talking about school, become withdrawn and spend much more time than usual locked in his room.

If asked directly about his friends, he is likely to give evasive answers ("fine," "normal") or lie, inventing friends or plans that do not exist to hide his loneliness and the embarrassment it causes.

Summary

Exclusionary bullying is detected by observing the child's social life. A key sign is the disappearance of invitations to parties and the lack of interaction with peers outside school hours.

At school, the child shows extreme anxiety about group work and avoids recess. He spends time alone and justifies his isolation by saying that he prefers solitude or that others are boring.

Emotionally, the child blames himself/herself for the rejection ("I'm weird", "I don't like myself"). Parents will notice sadness, avoidance when talking about friends, and frequent despondency after using social networks.