Possible method for conflict resolution

Key Differentiation: Conflict vs. Bullying

Before applying any method, it is imperative to understand the fundamental difference between a conflict and bullying.

A conflict is a disagreement or dispute between two parties who have relatively balanced power.

It is a normal and necessary part of social development; children learn to negotiate, compromise and manage their frustrations through it.

Conflict is symmetrical. Bullying, however, is asymmetrical.

It involves a deliberate intent to harm, repetition over time, and an imbalance of power.

In bullying, there are not two equal parties; there is an aggressor and a victim.

This distinction is vital because conflict resolution methods, such as mediation, are highly effective for conflicts, but are absolutely contraindicated in cases of bullying.

Sitting a victim and her aggressor down to "mediate" is a form of re-victimization, as it blames the victim for part of the problem and gives the aggressor another opportunity to intimidate her.

Peer Mediation (For Conflict)

An effective method of conflict management (not bullying) is peer mediation.

This system consists of training a group of students (mediators) in active listening, neutrality and solution-finding techniques.

When a conflict arises between two classmates (e.g., an argument over a game, a misunderstanding), instead of a teacher imposing a solution, those involved voluntarily turn to the mediators.

The process is structured: the mediators allow each party to tell their side of the story without interruption (speaking in the first person: "I felt..."), identify points of disagreement and each other's feelings, and then guide the parties to come up with a "win-win" solution themselves (where both parties feel they have been heard and the problem is resolved).

This method not only solves the specific problem, but teaches communication skills and empathy to the entire school community.

Restorative Circles and Restorative Justice (For Bullying)

When we are dealing with a case of bullying, the methods must be different.

Restorative justice does not seek punishment, but the repair of the damage and the reintegration of the aggressor, but only after having guaranteed the safety of the victim.

One method is restorative circles. This process, always guided by a trained adult, does not focus on mediation, but on accountability.

In a restorative circle (which is applied when the bullying has already been stopped and the bully has acknowledged the facts), the bully meets with the people affected by his actions (which may include the victim if the victim agrees voluntarily and feels safe, but more often includes observers, teachers or family).

The goal is for the offender to hear firsthand the impact and pain his or her actions have caused.

Following this, the aggressor should propose concrete actions to repair the harm to the community and commit to not repeating his behavior.

Summary

It is vital to differentiate between conflict (symmetrical) and harassment (asymmetrical and with abuse of power). Mediation methods are useful for conflicts, but should never be used in cases of bullying.

For conflicts, "peer mediation" is effective. Trained students help others to express their feelings and find a "win-win" solution without adult imposition.

For bullying, "restorative justice" is used. This method is not mediation, but a process for the aggressor to take responsibility, understand the harm caused and propose remedial actions.