The Ability of the Batterer to Change

Effectiveness of Intervention Programs

The most painful and frequently asked question by victims is: "Can it change?". The professional response should be cautious and evidence-based.

Traditional couples therapy is strictly contraindicated in cases of violence, as it gives the batterer more information to manipulate and often silences the victim for fear of retaliation post-injury.

The only programs with some evidence of success are specialized Batterer Intervention Programs (BIPs), which typically last for years and focus on cognitive re-education, dismantling privilege and taking responsibility, not just "anger management." However, attrition rates are high and recidivism is common.

Real change requires a total deconstruction of their personality and value system, a painful and lengthy process that few offenders are willing to voluntarily undertake without the coercion of a court order.

Indicators of Real Change vs. Manipulation

It is vital for the victim's safety to distinguish between genuine change and the "honeymoon" phase of the cycle of violence.

Crying for forgiveness, giving flowers, going to church, or promising "never again" are not change; they are manipulative tactics to avoid abandonment.

An indicator of real change includes: full and detailed admission of the facts without minimizing ("I hit you," not "we had a fight"), without justification ("I was drunk/stressed") and without blaming the victim ("you provoked me").

True change involves respecting the victim's boundaries (even if her decision is to end the relationship), accepting legal and social consequences without resistance, and maintaining respectful, nonviolent behavior over time, even in times of conflict or stress, without expecting "rewards" or recognition for behaving like a decent human being.

Summary

Couples therapy is contraindicated in cases of violence, as it facilitates manipulation. Only specialized intervention programs (BIP) focused on cognitive re-education have some evidence, although attrition is high and the process lasts for years.

It is crucial to distinguish the real change from the "honeymoon" phase. Promises, crying and gifts are tactics to avoid abandonment, not genuine changes in personality or value system.

Real change involves admitting the facts without minimizing them or blaming the victim. It requires respecting boundaries, including breaking up, and maintaining nonviolent behavior over time without expecting rewards for behaving decently.