Managing Rebellion and [Bad Influences].

Adolescence brings with it an inevitable dose of rebelliousness and the formation of bonds that are not always to the parents' liking.

Handling these situations with impositions and absolute control is a strategy destined to fail.

Instead of putting up walls, it is critical to adopt an approach that keeps the lines of communication open.

Understanding the psychology behind adolescent rebellion allows us to guide our children more effectively, helping them to make their own informed decisions rather than pushing them underground.

Why more control leads to more rebelliousness

There is a proven rule of thumb in raising teenagers: the more control, the more rebelliousness.

When parents try to control every aspect of a young person's life, their natural and instinctive reaction is to rebel more strongly.

This behavior is not a whim, but a fundamental part of their individuation process.

In order for adolescents to learn to make their own decisions and develop their identity, it is essential to allow them a certain degree of freedom and autonomy.

Trying to tie them down will only intensify their need to break the chains.

Excessive control does not encourage responsibility; it encourages deception and confrontation, creating a cycle of distrust that damages the relationship in the long run.

What to do when we don't approve of a friend or partner of the teenager.

When a friend or partner of your child's doesn't inspire trust for valid reasons (such as risky behaviors or bad influences), the worst strategy you can adopt is outright banning.

Banning them from seeing that person will only trigger their rebellious instinct, which will cause them to cling to the relationship and keep it behind your back.

The right approach is much more subtle and effective:

Express your reasons only once: Sit down with your child and calmly and honestly explain why that relationship worries you. Once you've done that, don't press the issue any further.

Open the doors of your home: Instead of forbidding, do the opposite: invite the person into your home. Encourage them to spend time there, eat meals together or do homework at home.

Observe and build trust: This strategy allows you, on the one hand, to monitor the relationship discreetly and, on the other hand, creates an atmosphere of trust.

By feeling accepted, your own child is more likely, out of personal conviction, to begin to notice the warning