Role-Playing Assertive Communication

Assertiveness is a skill that is strengthened through practice. Reading about it is helpful, but true mastery is achieved by applying it in real situations.

Since conflicts don't always give us the opportunity to prepare, role-playing or simulating conversations becomes a safe gym to train our ability to be assertive.

This practical exercise is designed so that you can practice setting boundaries and expressing your needs in a controlled environment, allowing you to gain confidence to face future difficult conversations with greater security and calm.

Goal of the Exercise

The main objective of this activity is to practice the ability to be assertive in situations you find difficult, improving your ability to communicate your needs and set boundaries respectfully and clearly, even under pressure.

Practice Instructions

Step 1: Identify a Challenging Situation

Think of a recent situation where you felt you did not set a clear boundary, or where you did not express what you really needed or wanted. You can also choose a hypothetical scenario that generates anxiety.

For example, asking a family member to respect your space, talking to your boss about your workload, or telling a friend that you can't do him or her a favor.

Step 2: Prepare your Assertive Message

Before the simulation, write down what you would like to have said in that situation using assertive language. Focus on using "I messages" that express your feelings and needs without blaming the other person.

Instead of: "It bothers me that you always interrupt me." Prepare, "I would like to be able to finish expressing my ideas without interruptions, as I get frustrated when I can't."

Step 3: Perform the Simulation with a Partner.

Ask a trusted friend, family member or partner to help you with this exercise by asking them to act as if they were the other person involved.

During the role-playing, focus on the following points:

• Use clear and direct language to express your message.
• Do not blame or attack the other person, even if his or her "character" is provocative.
• Keep your tone of voice calm and respectful.
• Avoid extremes: don't be aggressive (imposing your will) or passive (giving in immediately).
• Be firm: If the other person insists, practice holding your ground in a calm manner. For example: "I understand your point of view, but as I said, I need you to respect my decision".

Step 4: Reflection