Strategy 2: The [Time Out] Technique

The "time out" technique is a very effective tool for managing disruptive behaviors in preschoolers, as long as it is applied correctly and consistently.

It is not a punishment, but rather removing the child from a conflict situation to give him or her a chance to calm down, while teaching the child that certain behaviors are unacceptable.

For it to work, it is crucial to follow clear guidelines on when, where and how to apply it, as well as knowing how to handle the child's resistance without falling into power struggles.

Guidelines for effective enforcement: when, where and for how long

For time-out to be an educational tool and not a punishment, it must be applied with precision.

When to use it: Time-out should be used only after a clear warning has been given and has not been obeyed.

For example, if a child is spitting food on the table, the child is told, "If you spit food on the table again, you will go to time-out in the corner. Only if he repeats the behavior is the technique applied.

Where to place it: The place should be a neutral and safe space, such as a chair in a corner of the dining room or a corner of a room.

It should never be a dark place, a closet or a locked bathroom, as this can be traumatic.

Nor should it be a place with distractions or rewards, such as a room full of toys.

For how long: The general rule of thumb is one minute for each year of the child's age (e.g., three minutes for a three-year-old). This is the maximum time.

If the child calms down before the time is up (even at 10 seconds), the child should be brought back immediately.

Leaving it longer than recommended is counterproductive, as the child loses the connection between his behavior and the consequence.

How to deal with the child's resistance without negotiation or punishment

It is very likely that, the first few times, the child will resist the "time-out".

The key to making the technique work in the long run is to handle this resistance calmly and firmly.

If the child gets up and leaves the assigned corner, you should not yell, lecture, or enter into a negotiation. Simply take it in stride and lead him back to his spot.

Repeat the instruction in a calm but firm manner: "You are going to stay here until you calm down.

If he gets up 100 times, you take him back 100 times, without losing your composure. Throughout the entire process, do not give him attention, either positive or negative.

Attention reinforces behavior, so any interaction during the tantrum is counterproductive.

Once the child has calmed down, you can bring him or her back, give a hug and turn the page, continuing with normal activity without mentioning the incident again.

With consistency, the child will learn that "time-out" is an inescapable consequence and that the only way out of it is to calm down.

Summary

The "time-out" technique is a very effective tool if applied correctly. It is not a punishment, but a removal of the child.

It should be used only after a clear warning has been given that was not obeyed. The place should be neutral and safe, never a dark place.

The rule of thumb is one minute for each year of the child's age. If he resists, take him back calmly and firmly, without yelling.