The Task of Life: Feeling Competent

The school stage, which runs from approximately six to ten years of age, is a period of enormous transformation in which the child faces a crucial life task: developing a sense of competence.

This concept does not refer to competitiveness against others, but to the deep inner need to feel capable, skilled and effective in the tasks he undertakes.

During these years, their capacity to learn and develop new skills is immense.

Supporting them in this phase is critical, as the perception they build of their own ability will have a lasting impact on their self-concept and self-esteem.

The child's need to feel capable and skilled

During the primary school years, the child's main psychological driver is the quest for competence.

It is a stage when they need to feel and prove that they are good at something, that they can accomplish things on their own.

The yearning to hear an "I can do it" or "I know how to do it" coming from within becomes a fundamental need for the development of his personality.

This is a time of explosion in their learning capacity, where they are neurologically primed to absorb knowledge and hone a wide variety of skills.

Therefore, it is not a simple desire, but an indispensable evolutionary task.

If children fail to build this sense of capability, they run the risk of developing a sense of inferiority that can negatively affect their confidence and willingness to face challenges in the future.

How to nurture their talents to build self-esteem and compensate for weaknesses

The best way to help a child feel competent is to identify and enhance his or her natural talents and abilities.

As a parent, it is vital to look closely at what your child excels at, whether in art, sports, science or any other area.

Once these strengths have been identified, the next step is to provide them with experiences and activities where they can apply and develop them further.

This strategy is especially powerful because it acts as an emotional compensatory mechanism.

For example, a child who struggles with math in school, but is an excellent athlete, will find in sports a source of pride and satisfaction that counteracts the sense of inferiority he might feel in the classroom.

This success in one area strengthens his self-concept (what he thinks of himself) and, as a consequence, his self-esteem (how he feels about himself).

By focusing on his talents, we not only give him tools to feel good, but we protect him from the dangerous belief that he is "not good at anything," laying the foundation for a healthy and resilient self-image.

Summary

At the school stage (6-10 years old), the crucial task is to develop a sense of competence. It is the deep inner need to feel capable and effective.

The child's main psychological driver is the quest for competence. He needs to feel and demonstrate that he is good at something.

He nurtures his talents to build self-esteem. Success in one area (sports) compensates for the feeling of inferiority in another (mathematics).