Reflective listening and paraphrasing: the basis for clarity

What is paraphrasing and why is it so powerful?

Paraphrasing is a communication technique that consists of summarizing what you have heard in your own words.

It is a fundamental tool of active listening that goes far beyond simply repeating what the other person has said.

Paraphrasing serves three essential functions in conflict resolution:

Show that you are present and that you have listened: By paraphrasing, you show the other person that you have not only heard them, but that you have taken the time to process their message.

This validates their perspective and makes them feel valued, which is critical to lowering your guard and reducing the tension of the conflict.

Helps avoid misunderstandings: Paraphrasing functions as a check for understanding.

By summarizing what you have heard, you give the other person the opportunity to correct you if you have misunderstood, which prevents the conflict from escalating due to misinterpretation.

It clarifies the message and helps you see what the other person really wants: By paraphrasing, you can extract the key points of the message, allowing you to go beyond the words and understand the underlying need or interest at stake.

This is crucial in conflicts where people don't always say what they want.

How to paraphrase effectively

For paraphrasing to be effective, you must do it with a tone of curiosity and without judgment.

Use phrases such as, "If I understand you correctly, what you are telling me is.", "Let me see if I have understood you.", or "What you are telling me is that you feel this way.?".

For example, if a co-worker says to you, "I'm sick of my ideas never being considered in meetings," you might paraphrase, "What I hear is that you're frustrated because your contributions are not valued in the team.

Is that what you want to tell me?"

This type of response not only validates their feelings, but also gives you the opportunity to address the real cause of the conflict, which is not the fact that their ideas are disregarded, but their underlying need for recognition and validation.

reflective listening and paraphrasing the basis for clarity