Mobile and video games. Enjoyment without abuse

The Addictive Design (Understanding Abuse)

The first step to "enjoy without abuse" is for parents to understand that device abuse is not a simple "failure of will" on the part of the child.

Mobile, and especially multiplayer (free-to-play) video games, are explicitly designed to be addictive.

They use intermittent variable reward mechanics (the same as a slot machine), such as loot boxes, constant notifications or streaks, which release dopamine in the child's brain and drive them to return again and again.

Understanding this changes the focus: the child is not "weak", but is fighting against a very sophisticated behavioral engineering design.

Therefore, "enjoying without abusing" cannot be left to the child, but requires active management and mediation by the parents.

The point is not to demonize technology, but to understand its power to engage in order to set limits.

Quantity vs. Quality of Screen Time

The abuse debate often focuses on the "number of hours," but this approach is incomplete. It is more useful to look at the quality of screen time.

Spending an hour on a video call with grandparents (social use) is not the same as spending an hour learning to program (creative use), or spending an hour watching random videos on TikTok (passive use), or spending an hour on a violent, high-frustration video game (avoidance use).

To avoid abuse, parents should prioritize quality content: games that encourage creativity (Minecraft in creative mode), strategy or collaboration.

And, above all, they should keep an eye on the "opportunity cost": Is that time on the mobile replacing essential activities such as sleeping, playing sports, socializing face-to-face or doing homework? Abuse is not defined by the hours, but by the displacement of vital activities.

Self-regulation and Family Mediation Strategies

To enjoy without abusing, self-regulation is the ultimate goal, but it is arrived at through external regulation (parents).

It is essential to establish a "Family Digital Plan" with clear and agreed time limits (e.g. "one hour of play per day during the week").

It is crucial that these limits are applied in a common space in the house (e.g. the living room), not in the bedroom.

Playing in common spaces allows parents to monitor the content, the child's emotional reactions (anger, frustration) and his online interactions (is he griefing?).

Parental example is again key. If adults show compulsive use of the cell phone, it will be impossib