Internalized irrational beliefs

The three harmful expectations

Much of our emotional discomfort stems from rigid internal rules that, even if we do not verbalize them, direct our behavior.

Based on rational emotive therapy, we can identify three main mandates that feed the impostor: "I must do everything perfect or I am worthless," "I must be liked and have everyone's approval," and "Life must be easy and fair." These irrational beliefs act as a relentless internal court.

The imperative need to be absolutely successful and the dependence on external validation are the pillars that support the impostor's low self-esteem.

Living under the tyranny of these "shoulds," any deviation from perfection is not interpreted as human error, but as evidence of intrinsic worthlessness.

Fixed mindset vs. growth mindset

The impostor's self-perception is often anchored in a fixed mindset: the belief that abilities are static and limited.

Unlike a person with healthy self-esteem, who sees imperfection as a starting point for improvement, the sufferer of this syndrome believes that if they are not capable of doing something now, they never will be.They deny their own ability to learn and evolve.

This distorted vision leads them to think that they must arrive at a new position knowing everything beforehand.

If they sense a shortcoming, they do not think "I can learn this," but rather "I am a fraud and can't be fixed," which causes them to miss valuable opportunities for fear of exposing their supposed inability to grow.

Relationship to self-esteem and humility

It is crucial to distinguish between genuine humility and the self-abasement practiced by the impostor.

Humility involves acknowledging that one does not know everything and being willing to show vulnerability in order to learn; the impostor, on the other hand, hides his or her limitations out of shame, thus blocking real learning. They mistakenly believe that they are "not enough" just as they are.

While healthy self-esteem accepts human imperfection, impostor syndrome punishes it.

By trying to manipulate the perception of others to hide their "flaws," they end up in a state of dishonesty with themselves that prevents true connection and professional development, trapped in the need for constant validation to fill an inner void.

Summary

Rigid internal rules, such as the need for absolute perfection and the quest for constant approval, act as an unforgiving tribunal that sustains low self-esteem and a sense of fraud.

A fixed mindset prevents seeing imperfection as an opportunity for improvement; the sufferer believes that abilities are static and that any current lack is a definitive condemnation of inadequacy.

The imposter confuses humility with self-abasement, hiding his or her limitations out of shame rather than accepting them in order to learn, which blocks real development and fosters dishonesty with oneself.