Definition and nature of values

The fundamental distinction between compass and destiny

In the framework of this therapy, one of the most frequent conceptual errors is to confuse values with goals.

To work effectively in life direction, it is imperative to establish a clear distinction between the two.

Objectives are finite, tangible, attainable goals; they are things that can be completed, checked off a list and left behind once achieved. For example, "write a book," "get married," or "buy a house" are goals.

Once you have the house, the goal is complete.In contrast, values are chosen life directions.

They can never be "completed" or "achieved" definitively; they are qualities of continuous action.

They function like a compass: they point you north, but no matter how far north you walk, you never reach a place called "north" where you can sit back and say "I've arrived, the journey is over." You can always keep moving North.

If a person's value is "being creative", there is no point in life where you can say "I've been 100% creative, I don't need to do it anymore".

You can paint a picture (objective), but the value of creativity is still available to guide the next action.

Understanding this alleviates the "goal achieved" crisis (the emptiness you feel when you achieve a big goal) and provides inexhaustible motivation that does not depend on external success.

Values as overarching qualities of action (life adverbs)

Technically, it is useful to think of values not as nouns (love, justice), but as adverbs or action verbs.

Values define how we want to behave while doing what we do. It's not about what you have, but how you act.

Let's imagine two people who share the same goal: to prepare a dinner for friends.

The first person does it in a hurry, under stress, shouting in the kitchen because he wants to impress and be told he is a good cook.

The second person prepares the same dinner, but does it with care, enjoying the smells, chatting lovingly while chopping vegetables and focused on taking care of his guests.

Both meet the objective (dinner is served), but the quality of the action is radically different.

The second person is connected to values of "care," "presence," and "love." The values color the action.

This is liberating because it means we can live our values in almost any circumstance.

Even in mundane tasks like cleaning the house or filling out a bureaucratic report, we can choose to do so with values of "order," "diligence" or "service."

We don't need to change our lives radically to start living with values; we just need to change the qua