Practice Saying [No] Assertively

Saying "no" is one of the most important skills for setting healthy boundaries, but also one of the most difficult to put into practice.

Often, we feel pressured to say "yes" for fear of disappointing others, creating conflict, or feeling guilty.

This practical exercise is designed to help you feel more comfortable and confident in saying "no," allowing you to practice an assertive response that is firm and respectful at the same time.

Goal of the Exercise

The objective of this activity is to help you feel comfortable and confident in saying "no" without experiencing feelings of guilt by practicing formulating a refusal in an assertive and respectful manner.

Practice Instructions

Step 1: Choose a Recent Situation

Think of a recent situation where you felt pressured to say "yes" when you really wanted to say "no".

It might be a favor a friend asked you to do, an extra task at work, or a social engagement you didn't want to attend.

Step 2: Write Two Versions of Your Answer

Now, take that situation and write down two different ways you could have responded.

• A passive response: Describe the response you probably gave or were tempted to give, where you say "yes" but feel uncomfortable or resentful inside. For example: "Yes, sure, I'll do it even though I really don't have time".
• An assertive response: Write down the response you would have liked to give, where you say "no" in a firm and respectful way, without excessive excuses.

Step 3: Practice the Assertive Response.

The next time you find yourself in a similar situation, try using the assertive response you have prepared.

If you feel unsure, you can first practice it out loud or with someone you