Practice Using [I-messages] instead of [You-messages].

How we express our frustration or annoyance can determine whether a conversation turns into a fight or an opportunity for understanding.

"You messages" ("You always...", "You never...") often sound like accusations and put the other person on the defensive immediately.

This practical exercise will teach you how to rephrase your complaints using "I-messages", an assertive technique that allows you to express your feelings without attacking the other person, opening the door to more respectful and constructive communication.

Objective of the Exercise

The objective of this activity is to improve your ability to express your feelings without making the other person feel attacked or blamed.

By mastering this technique, you will be able to foster more open dialogue and reduce the likelihood of conversations turning into arguments.

Practice Instructions

Step 1: Think of a Recent Situation

Take a moment to recall a recent situation in which you felt frustration or annoyance with someone, especially if it ended in conflict.

Step 2: Rewrite your Message

Now, think about what you said or would have liked to say at the time. Write down how you could have expressed your point of view using a "me message" instead of a "you message."

The key is to focus on your own feelings and how the other person's behavior affects you, rather than judging or blaming the other person.

Practical Example: Instead of saying (Message "You"): "You never listen to me". Try saying (Message "I"): "I feel ignored when I don't get your attention during our conversations".

Step 3: Reflect on the Change

After rewriting your message, reflect on the impact of this change on communication: How does using "I-messages" change the way w