Reflection Exercise on Attachment Styles

This practical exercise is designed as a self-discovery tool to help you apply the concepts of attachment theory to your own life.

The goal is not to pigeonhole you into a label, but to foster greater awareness of unconscious patterns that may be influencing your interactions.

By understanding how your early attachment experiences continue to manifest in the present, you can begin to make more conscious choices to build healthier, more satisfying relationships.

Goal of the Exercise

The main purpose of this activity is to help you identify your predominant attachment style and understand how this pattern influences your behaviors and emotions within your current relationships.

Reflection Instructions

Step 1: Observe your Close Relationships

Take a moment to reflect on your most significant attachments, whether with your family, partner or close friends.

Think about how you usually behave in these interactions.

Ask yourself questions such as: Do I tend to feel insecure or emotionally dependent on others? Do I feel uncomfortable with too much closeness and prefer to maintain my independence? Do I constantly seek approval from others?

Step 2: Identify your Predominant Pattern

Based on your reflection, try to identify which of the following styles best describes your general tendencies:

• Secure Attachment: If you are comfortable with both emotional closeness and your own independence, your style is likely to be secure.
• Anxious Attachment: If you live with a recurring fear of abandonment or if you constantly seek validation and approval from others, your pattern may be anxious.
• Avoidant Attachment: If you tend to avoid emotional intimacy and prioritize independence over connection, your style is likely to be avoidant.
• Disorganized Attachment: If your feelings about relationships are often contradictory and confusing, experiencing a desire for closeness mixed with a fear of it, your style may be disorganized.

Step 3: Connect Your Style to a Real Situation

Now, choose a conflict or disagreement you have recently had in one of your important relationships. Analyze the situation through the lens of your attachm