Internalizers vs. Externalizers

Attribution biases in the face of conflict

Self-esteem and criticism management vary dramatically depending on how we process negative information.

There are two main coping mechanisms: externalizing and internalizing.

People with overconfidence or narcissistic traits tend to be "externalizers"; when faced with a mistake or criticism, they project blame outwards, convinced that the problem is the environment, the envy of others or the injustice of the system, rejecting any fault of their own.

On the contrary, those who suffer from impostor syndrome are chronic "internalizers".

Faced with the same conflict, they absorb all the blame, using external criticism as a confirmation of their worst inner fears about their inadequacy.

The danger of self-alienation

The great risk for the internalizer (the imposter) is the tendency to emotional isolation.

Believing their flaws to be shameful and real, they opt for self-alienation, hiding their true feelings and vulnerabilities so as not to be "found out."

This lack of authenticity creates a barrier: by not showing themselves vulnerable, they cannot receive the support or reality check they need.

Unlike the externalizer, who may reject feedback out of arrogance, the impostor avoids it or suffers it in silence out of shame, which prevents them from benefiting from mentoring or genuine connection with colleagues who could normalize their experiences.

Pursuit of objective balance

The goal of cognitive management is not to move from blaming oneself for everything to blaming oneself for nothing, but to find a realistic middle ground.

Both the impostor (everything is my fault) and the arrogant (nothing is my fault) positions are distortions of reality based on biased thought patterns.

Professional mental health lies in the ability to evaluate facts objectively: to recognize one's own mistakes as opportunities for improvement without that defining one's personal identity as "flawed."

It is about differentiating between what we do (which can be improved) and what we are (which is intrinsically valuable), thus breaking the cycle of internal victimization.

Summary

Self-esteem depends on how we process conflict; while "externalizers" blame the environment for their failures, "internalizers" or impostors absorb all the blame, confirming their worst fears about their incompetence.

The greatest danger for the internalizer is self-alienation, for by hiding their vulnerabilities out of shame, they become emotionally isolated and reject the support or reality correction they desperately need.

The goal is not to avoid responsibility, but to reach an objective balance where mistakes are recognized as opportunities for improvement, separating job performance from our intrinsic worth as individuals.