Barriers to action

Identifying the Horsemen of the Behavioral Apocalypse (F.E.A.R.)

On the road to committed action, obstacles will inevitably arise. These are not process errors; they are expected parts of the journey.

To help clients identify them quickly, the acronym F.E.A.R. (Fear in English) is often used, which breaks down the four main internal barriers.

F stands for Fusion: the mind tells us stories of "I can't," "it's too hard," or "I'll fail," and we believe them.

E is Excessive Expectations: we set the bar so high or expect results so quickly that we get discouraged before we even start (perfectionism).

A is Avoidance: we prefer to do something comfortable and less important (like looking at social networks) so as not to feel the discomfort of the important task.

And R is Remorse or disconnection from values (Remoteness): we forget why we are doing this, we lose touch with the deep "what for" and the task becomes an empty obligation.

Identifying which of these "horsemen" is holding us back is the first step to overcome it.

If the problem is fusion, discussing it will not help; we need defusion. If it is avoidance, we need acceptance.

Antidotes for blockage: D.A.R.E. and the concept of functionality

In the face of F.E.A.R.R. barriers, we apply the antidotes D.A.R.E. (Daring).

D is Defusion: observe the thought "I don't feel like it" as a simple mental event and act anyway.

A is Acceptance: make room for the discomfort or boredom that arises from performing the task.

R is Realism: adjusting goals to something we can do today (lowering the bar).

And E is Embracing values: reconnect with the underlying purpose.

In addition to these technical antidotes, we constantly use the concept of Workability.

When a barrier arises, the question is not "Is it true what my mind says?" (e.g., "Is it true that I am tired?"), but "Does heeding this tiredness and staying at home bring me closer to or further away from the life I want to build?" Functionality is the supreme criterion.

If the stay-at-home behavior works to rest and recuperate, it is valid. But if it works to perpetuate depression and isolation, it is dysfunctional.

Helping the client see the "mechanics" of his barriers allows him to jump over them r