The anchor in the storm

The instability of the traveling mind and the cost of disconnection

Our mind has a natural tendency to time travel. Faced with any difficulty, it activates its threat radar and transports us to the future (worry: "What if it goes wrong?") or the past (guilt/rumination: "Why did I say that?").

While this projection ability is useful for planning, it becomes a problem when it dissociates us from immediate reality.

When we are physically at a family dinner but mentally at a work meeting the next day, we lose "presence."

Real life only happens in the now; the past and future are verbal constructs in our head.

This disconnection comes at a high life cost: we miss the nuances of experience, reduce our ability to respond effectively, and live in a state of chronic alertness for dangers that are not physically happening. When emotions are heightened, this tendency is exacerbated.

An emotional crisis works like a storm on the high seas: giant waves of fear or anger batter our vessel, the wind of catastrophic thoughts pushes us around, and we risk being swept onto the rocks or losing our way altogether.

In those moments of turbulence, trying to "stop the storm" is impossible; what we need is stability so as not to be shipwrecked.

The technique of "Pulling the Anchor" to regain control

To manage these moments of emotional overflow, we use the metaphor and technique of "Dropping the Anchor".

Just as a ship drops a heavy anchor to the seabed to keep it stable while the storm rages on the surface, we can anchor ourselves in our body and in the present moment.

The anchor doesn't make the rain stop or the waves go away (the difficult emotions and thoughts are still there), but it keeps the boat from being swept adrift.

It allows us to maintain position and steer the ship until the weather improves. The technique involves a sequence of physical connection.

First, acknowledge the mental storm ("I'm having panicky thoughts").

Second, connect with the physical body: press the feet firmly against the floor, notice the back of the chair, clasp the hands together and feel the pressure.

Third, expand awareness to the environment: name five things you see and three sounds you hear.

By doing this, we tell the brain, "Yes, there is an emotional storm, but there is also a body here, a floor underneath and a room around."

We broaden the focus of attention so that pain is not the only thing on our radar screen, thus regaining the ability to choose how to act in spite of the storm.

Summary

Our mind tends to travel into the past or future, disconnecting us from reality. During emotional crises, this works like a storm that threatens to make us shipwrecked and lose our way.

To manage this overflow, we use the technique of "Dropping the Anchor". This tool does not eliminate the emotional storm, but it provides the stability necessary to maintain the steering of our ship.

The technique involves connecting with the body and the immediate physical environment. By widening the focus of attention, we remind the brain that there is physical safety around the internal pain.