How to create your own 'survival kit' for emotional crises [based on dbt] - dialectical behavioral therapy

This practical resource is designed to help you get through intense emotional peaks with more safety, effectiveness and compassion. The idea is to prepare in advance a set of objects, reminders and steps inspired by Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), so that when a crisis comes you don’t have to think from scratch: just open, follow and take care of yourself. It is not a substitute for professional care; if you are at risk or thinking of harming yourself, seek immediate help through emergency services or your trusted network.

What an “emotional survival kit” is and why it helps

An emotional survival kit is an intentional collection of physical and digital tools, simple instructions and sensory anchors for moments of high emotional intensity. Its goal is not to “eliminate” what you feel, but to help you ride the wave with less risk, buy time and reduce impulsivity while your nervous system regulates.

It works because, in crisis, the mind loses clarity and the body activates. Having decisions made in advance lowers friction: you choose less, you take better care of yourself. Also, practicing DBT skills in advance increases the likelihood that you’ll remember to use them when you need them most.

DBT principles that guide your kit

“STOP”: Pause to regain control

STOP is a brief reminder: Stop, Take a breath, Observe, Proceed mindfully. Seeing the card inside the kit invites you to:

• Stop the immediate impulse (don’t send that message, don’t argue, don’t run away).
• Breathe mindfully, lengthening the exhale.
• Observe what you feel in body, mind and environment.
• Proceed with the next safest and most effective step.

“TIPP”: Regulate physiology to lower intensity

When the body is highly activated, intervening physiologically helps lower emotion. TIPP includes:

• Temperature: cold on the face or hands (cool cloth, ice wrapped in a cloth) to trigger the dive reflex.
• Intense exercise: 30–90 seconds of jumping jacks, squats or stair climbs.
• Paced breathing: 4 seconds in, 6–8 seconds out, for 2–3 minutes.
• Progressive muscle relaxation: tense and release muscle groups in turn.

Healthy distractions (“ACCEPTS”)

These are temporary ways to buy time without making things worse: brief activities, contributing (helping someone), useful comparisons (remembering past recoveries), evoking opposite emotions (humor, tenderness), putting some distance for a while, redirecting thoughts and using intense but safe sensations (for example, holding a stress ball).

“IMPROVE the moment” and radical acceptance

IMPROVE gathers strategies to make the moment more bearable: imagine a safe place, find meaning, prayer or personal reflection, relaxation, focus on one thing at a time, mini-vacations (5–10 minutes away from the context) and self-encouragement (“this is hard and I can get through the next minute”). Radical acceptance reminds you to stop fighting reality as it is now, to save energy and decide more clearly what to do next.

What to include in your kit (physical and digital)

Personalize according to your history, triggers and what calms you. Ideally it fits in a box, pouch or bag. Include:

Self-soothing for the five senses

• Sight: photos that connect you with safety, a card with an anchoring phrase, printed landscapes.
• Smell: a mild essential oil, a scented cream, lavender sachets.
• Touch: a blanket or scarf with a pleasant texture, a stress ball, clay, a soft object.
• Hearing: a calming playlist, rain or ocean sounds; note track names.
• Taste: peppermint candies or citrus flavors, tea bags, sugar-free gum.

TIPP tools

• Reusable cold packs or a small ice pack, or a bag for ice.
• An elastic band for the wrist (for releasing it gently and noticing the sensation without hurting yourself).
• A short list of 60–90 second exercises.
• A card with a guided breathing pattern.

Cognitive and emotional supports

• STOP card and a list of “next, not perfect” steps.
• Written pros and cons about acting on impulse vs. tolerating the emotion.
• Self-compassion phrases that feel believable to you.
• A brief log to note what worked and what didn’t after the crisis.

Support and safety network

• Printed contacts: friends, family, therapist, local support lines.
• A short script for asking for help: “I’m having a hard time. Can you stay on the line for 10 minutes while I breathe?”
• Instructions for a “safe space” at home: room, lighting, blanket.

Digital resources

• Breathing apps or a 5-minute timer app.
• A “regulation” playlist and another for “energy/mood.”
• Notes on your phone with your favorite skills.

How to assemble your kit step by step

1) Preparation: know your signs

Identify triggers, early warning signs (jaw tension, all-or-nothing thoughts) and what has helped you before. Choose up to three “star” skills to simplify use.

2) Packing and accessibility

Use a sturdy box or pouch. Label compartments by category (TIPP, senses, support). Keep duplicates: one at home, another in your bag or backpack. Place a visible starter card: “Open here” with the order of use.

3) Practice and maintenance

Practice when you are relatively calm. Schedule monthly check-ins to restock and adjust. Remove what you don’t use, add what works best based on your experience.

Guide for use during a crisis

Phase 1: First aid (5–15 minutes)

• STOP: stop and breathe for 2 minutes with a long exhale.
• TIPP: apply cold for 30–60 seconds, then brief intense exercise, breathing and muscle relaxation.
• Choose a safe sensation (touch/smell) to anchor you to the present.

Phase 2: Regulation and support (15–60 minutes)

• Healthy distraction: choose a specific brief activity (hot shower, tidying a drawer, walking with music).
• IMPROVE the moment: imagine your “safe place,” put on appropriate music, take a 10-minute mini-vacation.
• Pros and cons: read your card if the urge to send impulsive messages, use substances or self-harm arises.
• Connect: send your script to a trusted person or call your support network.

Phase 3: Post-crisis and learning

• Hydrate, eat something light, rest if you can.
• Write down 3 things: what triggered it, what helped, what you will adjust in the kit.
• Practice a brief radical acceptance: “I don’t like this, and it’s here. I can choose the next helpful step.”

Tips, common mistakes and personal adjustments

• Keep it simple: better to have a few things well used than many things that overwhelm you.
• Avoid “all or nothing”: if one tool doesn’t work today, try another; sometimes you need to combine them.
• Don’t wait for the storm: practice on calm days; the skill strengthens with practice.
• Customize by season and context: mild scents for the office, stronger options at home.
• Mind your internal language: change “I should be fine” to “I’m doing the best I can with what I have.”

Signs to seek help

• Intensity does not decrease after applying several tools.
• Thoughts of harming yourself or others arise.
• You are using substances to cope with the moment.
• You feel disconnected from reality or with persistent panic.

In any of these cases, reach out to your support network, contact your therapist or local services. Asking for help is part of the plan, not a failure of the kit.

Remember: the goal is not to avoid feeling, but to get through the wave with as much safety and dignity as possible. Your kit is a companion that grows with you. Adjust, practice and, above all, treat yourself kindly at every step.