Feedback and Praise Management

Assertive Acceptance of Recognition

One of the most ingrained habits in those experiencing impostor syndrome is the inability to receive compliments.

When someone compliments a job well done, the automatic response is usually to minimize the accomplishment with phrases such as "it was no big deal," "it was simple," or attribute it to luck.

This behavior is not modesty, but a psychological defense to align external reality with a devalued internal self-image.

The first step in breaking this pattern is to practice radical acceptance of praise.

The technique is to stop the impulse to justify or diminish the merit and simply say "thank you."

This acceptance can be enhanced by adding a phrase that reinforces the positivity of the moment, such as "Thank you, I'm glad the report was helpful" or "Did you see how interesting the result turned out?"

By verbalizing gratitude without ifs or buts or excuses, we begin to send a signal to our brain that we are deserving of that recognition, breaking the cycle of rejection and allowing external validation to nurture our self-esteem.

Detached management of criticism

At the opposite extreme, receiving negative or corrective feedback is often experienced as a personal catastrophe.

For the "imposter," a criticism of a specific task immediately translates into a criticism of his or her entire identity ("this mistake proves that I am a fraud"). The professional challenge here is to learn to depersonalize correction.

We must train ourselves to see feedback as objective data about a one-off performance, not as a verdict on our worth as human beings.

It is vital to welcome feedback, even difficult ones, understanding them as tools for calibration.

If a presentation was not perfect, that does not make you a failure; it simply indicates an area for technical improvement.

By separating the "doing" from the "being", we can coolly analyze the criticism and extract the necessary learning without our emotional stability collapsing, thus avoiding obsessive rumination and defensiveness.

Objective competency mapping

To armor ourselves against self-doubt, it is necessary to make a conscious inventory of our resources.

Often, people with low self-esteem have a "selective amnesia" about their talents: they can quickly list their shortcomings, but struggle to identify their strengths.

A fundamental exercise is to write down and explicitly acknowledge past accomplishments, acquired skills and accumulated experience. This is not arrogance, but necessary s