The Practical Definition of Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that seeks to make a person doubt his or her own perception, memory or sanity.

Often, this tactic is presented subtly, in gray areas, making it difficult to recognize and counter immediately.

The manipulator's goal is to sow doubt in the victim, leading them to question their version of reality.

The subtlety of gaslighting

An example of gaslighting is when, after a business meeting where a sale was lost, a teammate tells you that your "outrageous" comment was responsible for the failure, even though the reality is that there may have been dozens of reasons why the sale did not go through.

The manipulator uses your own comment, which you don't know if it was accurate or not, to make you doubt your judgment and your memory.

This uncertainty stays in your mind, making you relive the situation and question your own sanity.

The difficulty with this manipulation is that you don't always know whether the manipulator is lying or being honest, but the effect on you is the same: you begin to doubt yourself.

The impact on self-esteem

Gaslighting can have a devastating effect on self-esteem, as it makes you feel you can't trust your own judgments or memories.

This type of manipulation is challenging, as it forces you to confront a reality that is not your own, making you feel disoriented and confused.

The manipulated person is left in a state of vulnerability, which makes it more likely that he or she will accept the blame that is imputed to him or her, even if it is unjust.

To defend yourself, it is crucial to recognize gaslighting in time and to have the necessary tools to reassert your reality without entering into direct conflict, since the manipulator's goal is precisely to get you into that situation so that you feel even more disempowered.

Summary